Friday, December 12, 2008

Living with recurrent pregnancy loss

Almost unimaginable to those who haven't lived thru it:

I too have lost six babies. I've watched nearly all of my friends and relatives move into the next stages of life. I've attended their baby showers, given tons of gifts, visited their newborns in the hospital, and watched them grow up and start school in the past 7 years. I was 21 years old when I got married, and I thought that I would be done having kids by the time I reached 30. I'm about to turn 32 and am still at square one. There have been many tests and surgeries along the way and with each attempt at a pregnancy we have had some hope of success. Each time we have been disappointed. We've never named any of our babies, I think mainly because we've been in a form of shock or denial for 7 whole years, but also because we thought it would be too painful. Maybe it seems cold or informal to think of them in numbers, but each of those lives holds such a special place in our hearts. Each one captured our hearts and carried our hopes and dreams for the short time that we knew of them.
Baby #1 July 6, 2002
Baby #2 March 28, 2003
Baby #3 October 7, 2004
Baby #4 July 22, 2005
Baby #5 August 8, 2006
Baby #6 January 22, 2007
Those are my miscarriage dates. None of our babies made it past 12 weeks; some didn't make it to 6 weeks. It terrifies me to think of that list growing longer, but we have no idea what the future holds. Every day I wake up with a mixture of pain and sadness, joy and hope.


  1. Your post touched me. I am also 32 and had 5 miscarriages. I'm watching now as everyone I know is pregnant again or for the first time. It's hard every day. I just want to let u know that u r not alone. Don't give up hope. I wish u the best of luck:)

  2. Hi Your post also has touched me.
    I am 33 and I have had 4 miscarriages. I am so tired of the Word miscarriage, all my friends are pregnant and are due not far apart from each other. It is so sad and so hard to watch them when you would do anything to be in there shoes.
    All mine have died before the 12 weeks we end up going to a scan and it is the heart beat has stopped or there is nothing there.
    What tests have you done? we are now being referred to a proffessor who will do PGD testing I think....
    Please can you keep me updated on both you stories It is so nice to have others who understand as at the moment no one can xx