Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The other type of "two week wait"

For those of us who have experienced recurrent pregnancy loss, the "two week wait" doesn't end when we get the positive pregnancy test. In fact, that's just the beginning of the very worst kind of wait - waiting to miscarry ...or to make it through the first trimester.

It's an agonizing experience. You can't allow yourself to become too invested or hopeful, but it's hard to remain completely detached. You don't get to really enjoy being a pregnant woman, but you have to observe all of the restrictive rules of pregnancy (no caffeine, alcohol, etc).

It's hard.

15 comments:

  1. Does this mean what I think it means? If so, I'm praying for you, Katie!

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  2. Yes, I hope it means what I think! I have enjoyed your blog, and will say a prayer for you.

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  3. Thanks you guys. Yes, I had a positive test, and as of yesterday my doc and I were hopeful that things looked goo. Unfortunately, we were wrong and I am experiencing another loss :-(

    Sigh.

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  4. I'm so sorry. Sending you mental hugs and support.

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

    I also want to apologize for my earlier (rambly) comment about seeing an RE -- I just saw this post and should have read more before I opened my big mouth.

    I also wanted to offer to put you in touch with my friend who had a clotting disorder, repeated miscarriages, and eventual success (wonderful, healthy, now 4.5 year old twin boys) through seeing an RE and taking Clomid, progesterone, and heparin injections. I understand you may not feel like talking about all that right now, but if you decide to continue, she could be a great resource.

    I friended you on FaceBook -- message me if you're interested in talking to her.

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  6. So sorry, Katie! That is just so awful.

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  7. I am very sorry for your losses. I am praying for you and I hope that everything works out for you in the future. I am so, so sorry!

    My husband and I had been trying for over two years to conceive a child. We found out Oct. 21, 08 that I was pregnant with our first child and obviously we were eccstatic. Unfortunately, two weeks before Christmas, I began bleeding and immediately went to the ER. I had miscarried. This was the most devastating experience my husband and I have went through. It has been over two months ago now and still everyday I think about my child. Each time I pass by the room that was going to be my childs, I break into tears still. I feel that everyone does not want to hear about it anymore because it is "old news" but I need someone to talk to that knows what I am going through...

    I had a D&C on 12-12 and started my first cycle after the D&C on 1-12-09. Now I am five days late for my second period. I have taken a test and it came back negative but I am experiencing things that I experienced early on with the first pregnancy (heavy breast with occasional soreness, lower back pain, cramps that less than those of cramps in a cycle, etc.). So at this point I am confused, am I pregnant and the test is just not reading the hormone OR is my body still not regular so I may not "technically" be late... if that is the case, why did I have the first period "on time"? I have not discussed this with anyone, except my best friend- who has two children after having cervical cancer, but she has never been through a miscarriage so she doesn't really know what I am going through. I am not sure what to do at this point. My husband and I definitely want to get pregnant again but I am terrified of going through another miscarriage.

    Do any of you have any advice?

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  8. Oh man. This is the truth. Your first miscarriage takes away your innocence. It strips you from joy at the first positive pregnancy test. The three months were trailing as it was as I feared a miscarriage. Now, I dont know if I will ever feel secure until that child is in my arms.

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  9. I am so sorry for your loss. I understand what you are going through and I know there is nothing that can make this pain of yours go away. today I would have been 19 weeks pregnant, but I am not.... and I'm still heartbroken about it. My husband and I recently began to TTC again. I'm in the TWW to find out if it worked. I'm hopeful, axious and really really praying for a miracle.

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  10. i was wondering if i could get an opinion or two. I am 33, I got pregnant and had my first child, with first husband at 17, yes young. I divorced and had 2 more children with my 2nd husband, no losses, no complications. Well im married for a 3rd time, current husband has no children, and we have been trying. Both times i got pregnant with no issues, but i lost both. one after 5 days the other due to trisomy 16 at 10 weeks. The only blood test that was abnormal for me was the MTHFR, and i take aspirin. How many of you out there have had 2 losses and then had a normal pregnancy. Could it really just be bad luck. Im at a loss here, and really upset, feel like i wont be able to have anymore. Im really just looking for some hope.
    Thanks and baby dust to you all

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  11. I hear you, couldn't have said it better myself. Doing that very thing now!

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  12. I am 22 yrs old. I had my daughter when I was 20 with no real complications other then a septum in my uterus. She was breech and 2 weeks early. I recently got married and had a miscarriage in January and another at the beg. of October.
    I am still grieving and very upset/scared. I want to have another baby SOOOOOOO bad but just dont know if I can go through another miscarriage. 3 months of expecting to have another miscarriage any moment is a long painful time.
    Has anyone had a septum and had more then one child???

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  13. I had a miscarriage this past May. Everyone keeps asking me if we are trying again. We aren't trying and I can't imagine trying. I have been allowing myself to grieve the child we lost. It seems so many people try again right away. But there's a whole process to go through when we experience loss. I felt so connected to our baby. I wanted to be connected. I didn't miss a moment of my pregnancy. I knew from the moment. I wanted to be with that soul as long as she was going to be with us. I knew I might lose her. It was so hard to lose her, but I'm so grateful I had her with me as long as I did. She is still with me, really. She has changed my life forever. I learned so much from having her visit me. I have dealt during the last seven months with finally coming to terms with a sexually abusive childhood. I am finally for the first time feeling self-love and self-compassion. Our lost children come to us for a reason, I believe. They are still a gift. And they are still our children. I am sorrowful for all of us who experience this loss. May we all find growth and self-love through the loss. Our children love us and no matter how long they are with us, we can hold this love forever.

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  14. I just wanted to add a comment and hope that no one gets offended by this post - Years back my wife went through a miscarriage and recently my daughter did and it wasn't until later in life that I realized the traumatic effect this has on women such as you.

    I have a healing music website and created a video to honor those of you who have suffered through a loss. I hope you enjoy the video.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz3H6lnHHwc

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