Catholic columnist Leslie Sholly wrote a lovely piece about her own sad loss:
I’ve written so many times about the dangers of assuming we can plan and control our lives. We’ve never planned any pregnancy as deliberately as we did this one. I failed myself this time to remember that life is a gift and none of us is promised another day after today. Just yesterday we received the tragic news of an 18-year-old family member in Maryland who was killed by a drunken driver on his way home from senior week at the beach. He had just graduated from high school. His fate was certainly never part of his parents’ plans for him when they decided to conceive a second child.
For the moment we have no plan. As I heal physically and our family heals emotionally, we are praying to discern God’s plan regarding another member for our family. We both still want another one, but we’re scared. No one needs to tell us we should be grateful for our five healthy children. I was reminded of that just today, talking to a pharmacy tech at the drugstore who is afraid to have a baby because she doesn’t want to pass on the kidney disease she inherited. But it’s because of our five healthy children that we wanted another. Every child is different and adds something special and irreplaceable.
Sometimes I think I’d like the comfort of the belief some people have—that this baby’s soul is lurking somewhere and if we have another, that soul will still be born. But I know that isn’t true. That particular immortal soul will never come down to earth, and that makes me sad. I didn’t want an “angel” in heaven just yet but a baby on earth. Still, both John and I have been comforted by the thought that my grandmother, who died in January, is rocking our baby in heaven as she did the others when they were little, singing her special lullaby.